Put your own (oxygen) mask on first
Editor’s Note: This was originally published in the May 6, 2021 Newsletter.
This was going to be my month. And then the universe laughed!
This is not the newsletter I was going to send this week. I was going to write about making a confident pitch for your hybrid-environment work needs. I've gathered a ton of resources, and I was planning to present a webinar on May 21st. And then...
My computer packed up. I got a new one but the transfers, the downloads, the updates... hours and hours of what should have been work and became computerless waiting. My new computer is a thing of speedy fabulousness but change is hard.
A surprise project came in. Short notice and messier than I expected, but a client for whom I have huge respect and a project I knew was important and influential for her. Great stuff - that blew my schedule.
I regrouped through those two things. I did all the things we hear about: I prioritized, I rescheduled, I anticipated. I ordered in a couple of meals I had planned to cook. I exchanged money for time on one side of the balance sheet, and revenue for relaxation on the other. So, a couple of curveballs, but it's all good... New week, new month, here I go!
Until the phone call. The one where I had to say "hang up and call 911". Maybe a heart attack, thankfully not, but lots of worrying, waiting, praying, worrying some more. And in the back of my mind that voice that kept saying "what about work?", right when I had no capacity left.
So last night I made a choice: to put on my own oxygen mask first. In a year where the idea of wearing a mask has profoundly changed, that phrase we used to hear on every airplane flight has a whole new meaning. One that, maybe, has been part of reimagining what caring for ourselves and others is all about. And so... This newsletter? Shorter than usual. Fewer links. Really short video. That webinar? Rescheduled. Date TBD. Discretionary projects? They've moved to June - at the earliest!
Thankfully, the patient is fine. Home and recovering. And I learned a really important lesson: if I do not make difficult choices I will fail. I will fail at my core business purpose of serving others in their strategic growth. I will damage my brand. And I will not be kind to myself. All of these matter! And as an ambitious person who loves her work, it's hard to make choices to say no, to lower standards, to push off projects. Does any of this resonate with any of you? So this edition talks about oxygen masks - the tough choices and necessary steps we must all make to succeed.
What does your oxygen mask look like?
Different problems need different solutions. But we all make mistakes when we're overwhelmed.
Quantitative overload (too much work).
Review priority. For each task, ask "why?" If it's not important, take it off the list.
Renegotiate deadlines. Internal or external, ask for new dates before missing existing dates. Then meet the new ones!
Stop saying yes. Are you in the cafeteria line (people keep giving you tasks), or browsing the buffet (you keep adding more to your own plate)? Stay focused, slow your enthusiasm, and add the "yes, and..." approach.
Qualitative overload (work you don't know how to do)
Slow down to speed up. When we're feeling stuck we snatch at solutions. Break down your projects into steps and see where you're really stuck and where you can actually make progress.
Ask for targeted help. In a short-time frame, this may be someone else taking on a project (or part of a project) for you. With more time, ask for training or mentoring to build your skills.
Be radically honest. Know when you can tap-dance your way to success and when a screw-up is inevitable. Be honest with yourself, so you can be honest with others.
In either case trade time/peace of mind for money where you can. Each of us have personal and professional budgets that give us differing flexibility at different stages of our lives and jobs. When possible give yourself a break, whether that's a takeout meal, hiring a subcontractor, or paying a dog walker. If there's no budget, where can you trade off within your network? Everyone needs help, but not everyone needs help at the same time.
"Ask for help. Not because you are weak. But because you want to remain strong."
Les Brown