Looking back. Looking forward. Committing to action.
Editor’s Note: This article was originally published in the December 20, 2021 Newsletter.
A year ago, I celebrated Christmas in England. My mother was sick, my son could not be here, and we wore masks to exchange gifts with family.
Fast forward 12 months... I am happily back in England, this time with my new-graduate son, and my mother is (at last) healthy. I'm the one who's sick! Having been struggling with some ongoing health issues, I've spent a couple of weeks in bed and have almost no voice. My family is relishing my inability to express my strong opinions, and kindly taking care of me. I am counting my blessings, albeit quietly, and working towards regaining my strength for the new year.
2021 has been a remarkable year for me, with change in every part of my life. There has been success and joy, as well as heartbreak and disappointment. It has been shockingly busy - that's a huge part of why this newsletter disappeared for many months - and the start/stop/restart/restop of pandemic life has been draining. I suspect many of you could say the same things about your year.
2022 looks very exciting at this point, though not clear or easy. So, I am boldly going to offer some coaching. As you prepare for the year ahead, take three steps:
Reflect on 2021 - take some time to slow down and really think. What worked? What didn't? For you? For your clients? For your stakeholders at work and in life? Know where you've been.
Set direction for 2022 - call them goals, intentions, targets, whatever-you-want. Know where you're going.
Move to action - even imperfect action. Whether we get stuck in analysis paralysis, best-laid plans, or pandemic languishing, nothing happens unless we actually do something!
As part of your intentional ending of one year and purposeful movement into the next, I encourage you to do some emotional processing and to recognize people who have made a difference in your year. I share tools for each of these steps below. What do you need to move successfully into 2022? How do you balance reflection and planning? Please reach out and share your strategies - I'd love to know.
Just do something. And probably not by yourself.
I love to plan! I’m a huge fan of the Passion Planner journals (I use a weekly and a daily, and share a referral code here) and their free pdf downloads are a great way to see if it’ll work for you. My year-end review was transformed last year by the Year Compass tool, available again this year (and another free download). We’ve even made our own guide for reflection.
Once you've planned though, what happens next? If you don’t actually do something… nothing!
I learned this year that my tendency to plan both prepares me and inhibits me. Interestingly I learned this lesson for client work long ago, and I instinctively balance the plan and the flex when doing work for others. For myself, though, planning can be a trap. There are two people who deserve a shout-out for pushing me through in 2022.
Sarah Kesher and I met in a buffet line at a conference about three years ago. We actually followed up as we said we would and have become fast friends, as well as colleagues and travel companions. Sarah supports me through the tough stuff and encourages me to get going. "Do more than nothing" is a mantra of hers often written in my journal on particularly overwhelming weeks!
Gary Duke has become much more than a friend. He's a mentor, a colleague, a role model, and - sometimes - my client/boss. In the happiest of coincidences, we were in the same co-working space when I started Resolute. Gary encourages me to know when enough is enough, to challenge my comfort zone, and to share of myself (challenges and all) more generously than is natural for me.
Who are your people? Do they know how much you appreciate them, and why they make a difference for you? In our reflective practice handout we talk about gratitude as vital for growth. Very few of us travel this journey alone - let your people know how much they matter.
"I get by with a little help from my friends."
— John Lennon & Paul McCartney
Integrity - The Commitment to be Honest (With Yourself)
From the beginning of this newsletter there have been recurring themes: values, alignment, choice. All of these form components of integrity and underly the resolutions and fresh starts we consider at this time of the year. Here are three pillars to support a journey to living 2022 with ever greater integrity, at work and at home.
Know where your time is going. We tell ourselves stories about our time. If we really want to be in control of our time, and to align our time and our priorities, we have to get rigorously honest about how we're spending it. Laura Vanderkam's work fascinates me (it intimidates me as well!) and she's starting the new year off with a free time tracking challenge. You can sign-up here and learn more about her work on her website.
Know what you're feeling. Exactly what you're feeling! Once you name it, you can address it. Understanding our emotions, and then labeling them - using emotional specificity - is powerful for helping ourselves to process and for helping others to meet us where we are. Like many of us, I was not raised to effectively express and process my feelings. As a literature major who loves words, I can name them really well! And it helps. If you want to dig deeper into emotional intelligence, we'll soon be sharing a first look at a mini-coaching package we're offering in 2022.
Own your mistakes. As I often share, I'm a Brit who grew up primarily in Hong Kong. The concept of "face" has surrounded me my whole life. A complicated relationship with embarrasment and shame has shaped my teaching style for the better and, before a lot of self-awareness and education, my management style for the worse! Without humility, meaningful accountability, and openness to change we can compromise our integrity for the sake of pride - creating anger and blame.